I never had her body

"I never had her body" I hear L commenting to the woman in the cube next to me. I have suspicions that she is referring to me, which are confirmed when she sticks her head into my cube and says "You're so skinny". Unfortunately, she catches me mid-bite into an apple. I feel that I have been caught doing something illicit by being a skinny girl that eats fruit, rather than eating a huge hamburger and yelling at the top of my lungs "IT'S MY METABOLISM". Apparently L agrees, because she clucks her tongue at me and laments "You should eat more. You're too skinny." I briefly consider saying "You should eat less. You're too fat" but decide against it for a myriad of reasons, one being that L is about the same weight as me. I say nothing, just sort of nod and chew, and L leaves to spread rumors of my eating disorder.

I am now sitting in my cube, trying to work but actually just staring at my computer screen while entertaining fantasies of killing L. Or, alternatively, walking past her office eating a huge bag of M&Ms and yelling "You're pissed because you have to work for it!"

Ugh.