September Resolution

Being lucky enough to be naturally non-ugly and unlucky enough to have a genetic predisposition to laziness, I rarely, if ever, put an effort into my appearance. (I will deign to make an effort when going out but then one can look fun and funky, rather than resembling a totally perfectionist Stepford). This was fine in high school, even finer in college but I am beginning to realize that more polish is required in the working world.

Unfortunately, I’m not really sure how to get said polish. Whenever I attempt to put on makeup, I invariably wind up feeling that I looked a whole lot better before all that shit went on my face. This is probably because I have had no practice and now all the annoying girls that got up three hours early to curl their hair in high school have untold advantages over me.

One cannot live in New York and not notice the women marching around, just as put-together as the socialites in magazines. (One reason being, sometimes they actually are the socialites in magazines). I have always been rather unaffected by this, yet suddenly the competitive nature of my new job, combined with Perky’s perfectionism, have made me believe the littlest slip up in appearance or demeanor will negatively influence my chances for winning. And not just winning in the corporate world but winning in LIFE. Or something. I have the feeling that this is precisely how every woman in New York feels, with equally nebulous ideas about what “winning” actually constitutes.

Also, I caught the gay man of our office staring at my feet today. I was wearing basic black sandals so it is more likely that he was entranced by the sad condition of my feet rather than the fabulousness of my shoes. It is time to get on the grooming bandwagon.

My September Resolution: From this day forth, I will be a well-groomed, stepfordish, highlighted, manicured, pedicured, impossibly perfect goddess.

To being a put-together, snotty New York bitch!

I feel exhausted already.