9:02 am Debate whether to minimize lateness and head directly to the office.
9:03 am Head in the direction of the deli.
9:10 am Eat bagel and drink large coffee, feeling the right decision was made.
9:20 am Get more coffee from the office kitchen and open work e-mail.
10:00 am Feel high from doing actual work and momentarily entertain the idea of excelling at your job. Run around in your best imitation of an enthusiastic worker, dropping things off and saying things like “I'm on it.”
11:00 am Realize why you are always so slow—when you complete tasks quickly, it leaves you with nothing to do. Check personal e-mail.
11:15 am Compose and send long, detailed e-mail to friend.
11:40 am Receive a one-line e-mail from friend that says “Can’t talk now, very busy, call you tonight.”
11:41 am Compose and send long, detailed e-mail to another friend.
12:00 pm Make a list, with little check boxes, of all the things you will do when you get back from lunch.
12:30 pm Eat sandwich at desk while reviewing list and feel alarmed. Resolve to get to work immediately.
1:27 pm Get to work.
1:32 pm Fax a piece of paper and feel very accomplished.
1:40 pm Give co-worker attitude when they ask for help on a project. Don’t they know how busy you are?
1:41 pm Realize you have actually finished everything on your list and are no longer busy.
1:43 pm Realize you better help out on that project.
3:30 pm Finish project and feel encouraged by the fact that it is already 3:30pm.
3:40 pm Check personal e-mail. Clearly, nobody loves you.
3:50 pm Give up all pretense of doing work and stand in the cubicle of the only co-worker you have that is as bored with and uninterested in his job as you. Have him show you all the joke e-mails he received that day from former frat brothers and pretend to laugh at the “You Might Be a Redneck…” list.
4:00 pm Genuinely laugh when the co-worker describes to you his master plan to get rich as a televangelist.
4:20 pm Call Re-Boyfriend to find out if he wants to get a drink after work. Feel ashamed when he tells you he’ll be at the office until 7:00pm.
4:45 pm Read Gawker, Defamer and even, in a moment of desperation, Wonkette.
4:58 pm Make a work-related phone call so you can feel you've been working right until the end.
This schedule is very familiar except for the fact that I have SO little to do that I read gawker, go fug yourself and check my fantasy fashion league around 10 am. I rationalize it by saying that if I'm not doing any actual work, then at least I'm starting my day well informed.
Hillarious indeed!... although, I am glad that isn't my day, coz then, I just wouldn't have the motivation to wake up in the morn... leave alone drive to work...
well put...the psychology of the masses...i wish i had spare time like you...cause I could use that time to do things that I am most passionate about...
Sometimes I find jewels as I go blogging. You hit good and you can tell from the comments. Love the minute by minute format. Do that more and keep the humor cause its better than just letting the crap turn you into a bitch. Course bitchin gets it off your chest.
You're hilarious. How do you find the time to even read all of your comments?? I think I have a total of 8 on my entire blog LOL.
Don't you just hate it when you try to space out your work cause you know you won't have anything to do do if you actually DO it right away and then all of a sudden you realize you're freaking SWAMPED with work??
heya that takes me back to my working days :p my boss took me aside and said that i have to stop using so much internet usage. lol i was too busy looking at pink is the new blog etc. Now i'm a student and i only 'have' to work for like an hour a day :D xoxo
All my days fall into that category when I am temping in between acting gigs. I calculated that last week, I spent over 35 hours on the Internet... hence why I have been blogging. The Internet is becoming like my secret workday lover. And I am totally losing interest (but I enjoy your blog).
Having a feeling of deja-vu! Your blog is so cool, I've bookmarked you! The corridor behind my door is so quiet .. I sometimes fall asleep.. I can't imagine the world without the Internet...
Awesome post. So true. I followed a link from my friend eleka's blog, in case you're wondering who the hell I am. I like your stories about Eunich man. It makes me curious how your friend knows that he has no penis. Very curious.
In response to this post, though, you should seriously read this article about how it can actually be important to slack off at work. It made me feel better... :shrug:
46 comments:
This schedule is very familiar except for the fact that I have SO little to do that I read gawker, go fug yourself and check my fantasy fashion league around 10 am. I rationalize it by saying that if I'm not doing any actual work, then at least I'm starting my day well informed.
Your blog is so hilarious and entertaining! i love it--
this is brilliant. you should quit your job and become a writer. it's what you were born to do.
Thank you for that, you give me something to do while i sit at my desk and pretend to work.
Haha...you just described my day completely! Excellent writing, I always laugh when I read your blog. :-)
You've pretty much descried my day at work. I love your blog!!!
That's hilarious!
myspace.com/backyardsympathy
i wish i had your job, have to work 10-12 hr days unfortunately.
Great title for a blog :)
thank heaven there are people like you in every workplace from ny to cali. love the blog, especially the "day in the life..." post. don't stop...
It's like you're in my HEAD!!!!
I just stumbled across your blog and it is hilarious. You definitely have a great sense of humor and comedic writing!
Very funny. And oh how true.. it's sad really....
Thank you! I was feeling guilty all day for goofing off, until I read your blog. :-)
not too bad... what a bitch
Hey, those "You might be a redneck" jokes are funny!!!
Hillarious indeed!... although, I am glad that isn't my day, coz then, I just wouldn't have the motivation to wake up in the morn... leave alone drive to work...
The Monkey is diggin' this blog. Bravo!
well put...the psychology of the masses...i wish i had spare time like you...cause I could use that time to do things that I am most passionate about...
Great post. I'll be back for more entertainment!
love it!!
Love the blog!
We must work in the same office. I swear you've described my typical day. So glad I discovered your blog!
Sometimes I find jewels as I go blogging. You hit good and you can tell from the comments. Love the minute by minute format. Do that more and keep the humor cause its better than just letting the crap turn you into a bitch. Course bitchin gets it off your chest.
You're hilarious. How do you find the time to even read all of your comments?? I think I have a total of 8 on my entire blog LOL.
Don't you just hate it when you try to space out your work cause you know you won't have anything to do do if you actually DO it right away and then all of a sudden you realize you're freaking SWAMPED with work??
No? Just me? ok...
You rock!
words that sum up how i feel about work:
jackassery
blabbery
heya
that takes me back to my working days :p my boss took me aside and said that i have to stop using so much internet usage. lol i was too busy looking at pink is the new blog etc.
Now i'm a student and i only 'have' to work for like an hour a day :D
xoxo
Cute. I work at the White House and about all we do all day is talk and drink coffee and, sometimes, beer.
All my days fall into that category when I am temping in between acting gigs. I calculated that last week, I spent over 35 hours on the Internet... hence why I have been blogging. The Internet is becoming like my secret workday lover. And I am totally losing interest (but I enjoy your blog).
I love your blog. Real funny. Here I go, digging into your archives.
It's like you've been looking over my shoulder all day!
"I work at the White House and about all we do all day is talk and drink coffee and, sometimes, beer."
That explains a lot... :-/
It's funny, I get all excited when I see a new blg entry and kinda bummed when I don't. No pressure CB. :-p
Wow I cant wait to get back to wrok..your post has made me miss it so much!
This is why I'm self-employed. :-)
alright....the weekend has come and gone. i'm waiting with baited breath. is he or isn't he??????????
god I'm glad I don't work in an office anymore...
You're a woman after my own heart.
Having a feeling of deja-vu!
Your blog is so cool, I've bookmarked you!
The corridor behind my door is so quiet .. I sometimes fall asleep..
I can't imagine the world without the Internet...
We must work in the same office. I swear you've described my typical day.
Great post. I'll be back for more entertainment!
Love it!!!
Awesome post. So true. I followed a link from my friend eleka's blog, in case you're wondering who the hell I am. I like your stories about Eunich man. It makes me curious how your friend knows that he has no penis. Very curious.
In response to this post, though, you should seriously read this article about how it can actually be important to slack off at work. It made me feel better... :shrug:
you have exactly described my typical day at work.... that is why I have been reading your blog for the last hour.
I swear, that is exactly what I do everyday(except, I also write in my blog)And im in South Africa, it's amazing!
You just described my day, everyday. It sucks. Being this bored makes me miss working at an insane law firm.
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