Tuesday

Love, CB

Re-Boyfriend has been away on business since Saturday morning. Because he is in a foreign country, it is difficult for me to drunk dial. This leads to drunk e-mailing which is incalculably worse because it allows you to review, sober, what was said.

E-mail I sent Re-Boyfriend last night (note: “canoli” is repeatedly spelled wrong):

I’m sorry I missed your call. I went to dinner with [the roommate] and drank a lot of sangria. She's sitting next to me on the couch right now suggesting dirty things to say to you. She just said, “[Roommate]'s eating a canoli the way I want to eat your canoli, write it, write it.” Needless to say, I'm thinking of you and your canoli.

News from the States: Friendly’s offers a Happy Ending Sundae.

Hurry up and get back so I can stop writing stupid e-mails.

Love [CB]

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

CB,
Do I tell you that I love you enough?

venus de kilo said...

Worse yet...drunk texting without saving the outgoing messages, only the incoming. You have no idea what you've said, only the responses you've provoked. Scary.

Vegas Dave said...

My typing is bad enough. To fire off a drunk e-mail would take me forever. I would sober up before I finished.

Friendly's with a Happy Ending Sundae?! Sounds like some of the places here in Las Vegas, but I bet it's not quite the same.

Grant Miller said...

I need a drink just to take the edge off. After that I'm fine. Are we to guess Re-Boyfriend is in Italy?

Izaninazi said...

"This leads to drunk e-mailing which is incalculably worse because it allows you to review, sober, what was said."

And even worse 'cause you can sober(?) post it on your blog for the whole world to see. ^_^

Jeannie said...

drunk blogging is fun

angie said...

this was hysterical......thanks for the giggle

GenuineSmiles said...

lol...a much needed laugh for today.

blueblanket said...

Happy Ending Sundae... love it. Reminds me of the term "blow off" from HBO's Carnivale -- I never looked at a can of "Blow Off"-brand compressed air the same way again. :o)

Rod Skullcrusher said...

A Happy Ending Sundae, is that something I can order off craigslist?

Drunken Master said...

Maybe you should hack into his email ID and send out drunken emails from there. No guilt involved at all!

clever_lazy said...

Was that the entire e-mail? It's pretty tame for a drunk message, even with the "canoli" part. I wouldn't dare post any of my drunk e-mails on my blog.

myboyfriendiscrazy said...

You should have posted it with the original bad spelling. Overall, based on the coherence of the email, I think you should have had more sangria.

Malcolm said...

that's the most dumb post you've written so far. sorry.

Freak Magnet said...

My old roommate was drunk dialing one night. I pulled the cord out of the wall and told her they cut the phone off becuase I didn't pay the bill.

Can't say I've ever drunk emailed before.

down_not_out said...

Harvey... the girl's in love-- give her a break.

Heh heh.

You're in love.

Mob said...

Is there a special room that you have to order the Happy Ending Sundae in? Or can we ask yer pal 'John" about it?

Sexy Lexi said...

Hilarious--I'll be using that cannoli line next time I drunk email!

Matthijs said...

I have now placed the words NIET DOEN (don't do it in Dutch) before the name of my ex re boyfriend in my phone, otherwise I'll spam him with SMS messages when I'm drunk, in need of some TLC, and have an inflated self image (I am one of those horrid can become very megolomanic when drunk people) at the same time..

petite said...

Canoli as a euphemism for penis was used on this week's ep of The Sopranos!