A Possible Explanation
I have just discovered a possible explanation for Silent Man’s behavior.
Today I am wearing Alice & Olivia gray pants that are very flattering and were bought on sale. Their one flaw is that they button as opposed to zipping, snapping, or anything else that can be trusted to stay closed. (Much like my duvet cover).
About ten minutes ago, I dropped my pen. As I leaned over to pick it up, I noticed one of the buttons on my fly was undone, clearly revealing the lacy pale blue panties I had picked out this morning.
I had not been to the bathroom in several hours, so if one assumes that the missed button was a product of my negligence, I had been flashing the office for, minimum, two and half hours. If one assumes that the button undid itself, due the undependable nature of its closure, then flashing time could be anywhere from ten minutes to the entire work day.
Interestingly, I am also wearing a pale blue shirt, most likely leading others to wonder if I always color coordinate in that manner or if this was, in some sense, a happy coincidence.
As an isolated incident this does not go far in explaining the overall pattern of Silent Man’s behavior. However if it is a heretofore unnoticed chronic problem maybe Silent Man just doesn’t feel like speaking to the office flasher.
I am trying to calculate how many times I have worn these pants in the past month in order to determine how likely this is.
35 comments:
This post begs the question, "Do you color coordinate your blouse and panties or was it a happy accident?"
Just wondering.
i'm betting - happy accident.
when i was growing up my mom was outraged if i didn't use a matching towel and washcloth - now guess what? - if anything in my general vicinity is color coordinated... it is dumb luck... and you know what else? there's plenty of that - dumb luck
Pictures. We want pictures.
:-)
(I'm kidding, of course)
I'm sure that isn't really his reason...
Dang, you're lucky that they were colour coordinated! I never colour coordinate my... 'undergarments' with my outerwear; it would be shameful if they were ever to try and peak out and say hello; clash city! o_0
i havent worn undies for a long time, but good for you for matching. like my grandma always said, wear pretty underwear. you never know when someone will be taking them off. i think she means like in case i end up in the hospital, but i decided long ago to leave the pretty underwear for the strip tease.
Our country's morals are going down the drain because of zippers and buttons.
This topic is worthless without pics... :P
Thats cool. I co-ordinate my boxers with my hats, belts and sneakers.
We had a girl at my office who routinely coordinated her undies (top and bottom) to her outfit, and then accesorized to boot (purple drawers, skirt, sweater, tights, earrings, shoes - all in different shades of purple, of course, but matching and thus unexplainably fashionable to her nonetheless). She made a point of letting anyone who would listen know that her unmentionables matched her... mentionables, I guess, which in turn made her seem kinda pathetic and lonely. That having been said, perhaps Silent Man fears that if he's nice to you, in all your loneliness you'll latch onto him and never let go for years to come. You should counter this by spreading a nasty rumor about him, preferably through a gossipy co-worker, and make sure he understands that you are the source. Your mercurial demeanor will puzzle him in a sexy and potentially incendiary way. (You do have a crush on him, no?)
P.S. I stumbled on your blog through a friend. Good stuff.
No, we really do want pictures. Give it up.
Attica said:
"We had a girl at my office who routinely coordinated her undies... She made a point of letting anyone who would listen know that her unmentionables matched her... mentionables..."
Maybe she moonlights as a hooker?
Genius.
Even I am wondering about these damn underwear and I am half-convinced that half this blog is well-crafted truthiness.
I don't care what anyone says, Women hold all the power in the universe.
Some people are without shame. I wouldn't trust them. Send me the pics and I will give my professional opinion. Never cast your pearls before swine, I always say.
its a tough call, i must say!
Gee, thanks, Attica. I try to co-ordinate my undies with my outfit, and now I feel like a loser.
THANKS A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT!!
Call me tasteless, but I think the average male would respond better to a woman whose undies are on display. This guy's just a prick.
If you came into my office like that, I would try and find ways to keep you talking.
did you buy those pants at Banana Republic?!
craftsmanship just isn't what it used to be...
CB
Thr Silent Man is most likely a recovering sex addict. He is probably in a twelve step program that has firm guidelines about how to reduce temptation. Try not to judge him too harshly.there but for the grace of...etc.
As for the pants,one word, Velcro.
This whole Silent Man thing could work as a sitcom. Underling makes increasingly bizarre attempts to engage Silent Man in conversation or have him otherwise acknowledge her existence. You realize we'll all be terribly let down if you actually do get something out of him.
um. Can you come work for us in our office please?
Thanks.
My coworker just avoided an elevator ride with me. I'm pretty sure he hates me.
There's something weird going on there, assuming everything's as you say. Not with the panties, with Silent Guy.
Don't goad him any more. You don't want to find out he's some kinda violent freak with a thing for good looking female victims.
Highly unlikely, my dear. He really does hate you. And people say that it takes more energy to be the hater as opposed to the hatee, but you are clearly proving that theory wrong!
my husband went to a job interview with his zipper down the whole time. Don't feel bad.
Clearly Silent Man has no manners. Ignore this boob, unless you are taking him on as a charity case.
Men care very little if your underware are coordinated with each other or with outerware. It's only peripherally on our radar.
I've been keeping up about Silent Man, and it's disturbing. Is it possible that he is secretly desperately in some obsession for you? And that if he speaks, the chances of him exploding into a whacked out confession and overall spew of longing and desperation may occur?
Men are weird like that.
I would like to say that the man is kind of a psycho, so be aware or you could be a character in the next movie... =P
I think he's just an ass so you should definitely call him on it... Go into his office and tell him you've noticed that he seems to be upset with you about something and that it's affecting your ability to be professional since you're having thoughts of driving a mechanical pencil in his eye... That should get his little bitch ass talking...
Very Sexy!
lmao@briane...i'm glad i don't work with you.
I once worked in an art department with my future wife. My desk faced the wall. One day something hit me on the head... it was her blouse. I looked around and she was wearing only her bra and panties.
I took her to dinner , and it was our first date.
Just a thought.
Flashing? My dear, he couldn't talk to you because he was too busy keeping his elbow on top of an embarassing erection.
Either that, or he's gay, into haute couture, and is horrified by your choice of undergarments.
I dunno, would YOU hang with somebody who takes pride in being known as the Company Bitch? There were people I used to work with whom I was VERY careful around because, well, they were dangerous to one's career, marriage, promotability, or team.
Your readers seem to be seeking some sort of sexual connection...maybe he just doesn't like your perfume.
Is stag puttin' you/us down?
We's good folk, stag! What the?!
That really makes me ask:
Do you always color coordinate in that manner or was it just a happy coincidence?
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