I have just made an ass of myself in front of the only person in the office with whom I feel truly at ease, previously and subsequently referred to as Office Slacker. (This is because he both hates and does not care about his job to a degree that rivals mine).

“So I was watching television last night,” OS began, before launching into the gory details of an institution where people could pay to torture anonymous victims.

I sat, staring, making little “Oooo” and “Ahhh” noises.

At first he looked a little confused by my rapt attention--usually our conversations are carried on with long pauses as one or both of us faces a computer screen.

Then I said “I can’t believe they would show all that on the television,” and Slacker's face lit up in both disappointment and realization.

“CB, it’s a movie. The movie Hostel.”

I smiled dumbly for lack of any response that would save me.

“What’s wrong with you?” OS looked genuinely worried.

“Well, I did think it was a little strange,” I said defensively. “That’s why I was so interested. And you said you saw it on television.”

“So?”

“Hostel is a movie,” I told him witheringly.

In the future, I must be more careful not to appear stupid in front of my only office friend.