The Present
“I got you something to sleep in when you’re here,” Re-Boyfriend told me, looking both proud and bashful.
That sounded promising. I envisioned a button down pajama shirt with matching bottoms. Or maybe something lacy and sexy. Or maybe one of those weird thigh-length silk nighty things.
A small pink object suddenly flew at my face. I removed it from my head and held it awkwardly in front of me. It was a tiny pink t-shirt, with a large glittery image of a cartoon geisha girl. When I gave it an exploratory scratch, silver glitter fell to the floor.
“Put it on,” he said. I did.
“Ooooo..” The next thing I knew I was wearing only the t-shirt and we were having sex on the couch. Then I ran around the apartment in my underwear and the t-shirt. I drank wine in the t-shirt. I watched television in the t-shirt. I had more sex in the t-shirt.
I thought the t-shirt was worn out.
But when I woke up the next morning, naked, Re-Boyfriend looked a little disappointed.
“You didn’t wear the t-shirt to bed.” I looked at him a little oddly.
“We’ll put in a hook right there,” he pointed to a space on his wall, “And you can hang it there.”
I do believe this is seriously supposed to be my nightly pajama/sex top.
40 comments:
Wow... the present comes with a bedside hook? Lucky girl!
That's kinda weird...
-Steve
http://lastcallbaltimore.blogspot.com
That is so generous of you to give him a wall. Or are you at his place?
If you don't like the sleep shirt, spill red wine on it.
hehehe!
What is it with guys that when they buy you something to wear you have to sport it ALL THE TIME?!? And if you don't you're a disapointment: "Do you not like what I bought you? Why don't you EVER wear it?"
Yes dear, I will live, eat, sleep, breathe, shower, and DIE in this shirt.
If he would just go out window shopping with you every once in a while he would know what to get. When you pass by something and say,"Oh, this is nice." and then move on. That's his cue.
Tell him right neighborhood wrong street. It was a lovely thought and it was fun to wear for a night of mattress wrestling. But as far as every night wear, forget it.
Solution: Just sleep naked. That way, you won't have to worry about one of his anal-retentive hooks. Really, does he throw his t-shirts and/or boxers on some hook you have erected (pun intended)? As the old joke goes, "That t-shirt looks great on you, but it would look better on my floor."
men are so weird.
I think it follows the same train of thought as the french maid uniform or the catholic school girl uniform. The tacky, tiny, glittery tee must have some sort of aphrodisiac effect. (Maybe he saw some really hot chick wearing the same shirt and he wants to transfer that fantasy to you.)
Kinda sick and twisted if you ask me. (But hey, if the sex is good...)
P.S. I wasn't trying to suggest that you aren't "hot" in your own right...
SO odd. I think I'd be much more frightened if my fiance got me that shirt. Currently, his grandmother buys me little tank tops with palm trees on them and B.U.M. Equipment clothing, and it's usually OK to NEVER wear them because I don't see her that often. I don't know what I'd do with a nightly demand.
Just Some Guy, she did sleep naked and he still wanted her to wear the t-shirt. And I agree, it's wierd.
Nothing is sick & twisted between to consenting adults. Learning what drives your partner wild takes time & bonding. In a committed and monagamus (sp?) relationship this knowledge comes in handy when the sex wans due to familiarity.
Most of you sound pretty young, and are still learning about sex & relationships. Personally, I would give my right arm for my partner to do just what Re-Boyfriend did.
"I do believe this is seriously supposed to be my nightly pajama/sex top."
Copulatory agglutination from cockcrow to eventide finds you accoutered how?
old lady - copraphilia?
In "Boxing Helena" a right arm was given, as were three other appendages. Be careful what you might wish for.
BP my verbous peer-The key to my philosphy in human sexual behvaior is "consenting adults". My personal repetoire does not include copraphilia or necrophilia; ad phileitum, but it is not my privilege to criticize what someone else may prefer.
Never have seen or read "Boxing Helena". Will put it on my list as I am a cinephile.
sounds like you made good use of the gift...and if it makes him happy...why not play in it a few more times??
I think I like old lady's approach on this matter. For some reason the shirt drives Re-boyfriend wild. Enjoy it, revel in it and file the knowledge away for future reference.
While I do get the point old lady brought up, wouldn't it be better to save such a "wild card" for the situations where it's needed? I mean, for the sound of it, CB and Re-Boyfriend are doing wild enough as it is. So why waste a perfectly good wild card by letting it become familiarity? Kinda like saving your good clothes for school when you were kid.
Maybe there's a back story to the t-shirt. Maybe something that he heard of, did or saw on his trip...
But, if it works for both, who cares if it wears out.
CB
I think everyone is missing the point. CB, reexbf was gone for 2 1/2 weeks and all he got you was a crumbly Tshirt which he probably picked up on arrival at JFK. Once more CB, you have been gifted with a terrble, ugly, odd gift. Reexbf is just blowing an exceptional amount of smoke by making such a big deal out of it. I say wear the shirt in public next time you go out with friends and make a point of telling everyone he bought you this lovely present while he was away.
old lady - My verbose young thing.
My personal repetoire includes
'sesquipedaliaphilia'
'ad phileitum?'
Like 'Television' a mixture of Latin and Greek, nothing good can come of it.
TOTALLY AGREE W/ FAIRSCAPE!!!!
I totally have the same shirt.
Math, people, math.
Your cupcake ingredients cost more than that t-shirt. And it sounds like he went to Japan (the cartoon geisha would be a little random for Detroit). He went to Japan and all you got was a lousy t-shirt? CB..... there's a reason they make t-shirts that specifically make fun of that.
You can have mostly-naked welcome home sex in nice jewellery too.
(FYI.... I have been hiding a lemon yellow Brazil "sleep shirt" in the back of my closet for a few months now. It is too ugly to even be unconscious in.)
This guy sounds just as silly as mine. I swear men are sometimes just like little boys with toys. But it makes them more fun.
OPTION 1 -- Turn the tables on him....buy him something with glitter and make him wear it all the time.
OPTION 2 -- next time you wear the shirt, claim that it gets pieces of glitter in your eyes when you're having sex and you just can't wear it anymore because you're scared it'll scratch your cornea.
I think you all are missing the point to this story....NO ONE has asked for naughty pictures of her in the tank top....CMON you guys!
Wow, Just me, you read my mind! The thought was enough for me to cast off my "lurker status". Post pics! ;-)
Nothin' says loving like an imported glitter covered shirt that you're now forced to wear until it's merely an old discolored rag. Best of luck with that, CB.
Hey, CB, if you get glitter in your eye- it can get scratched and infected. I hope that hook is far away from your bed, and that you and Re-Ex remain unscathed.
That is some fucked up shit.
No way I'd be wearing the shirt to bed, all the glitter would come off in the sheets - too prickly!
Obviously, he did not buy the t-shirt for YOU but for himself. Therefore, you may now by him something that you always wanted. Who cares what you wear to bed or what turns him on. He probably saw the stupid thing, pictured you in it and being lonely, got excited and bought it and spent the rest of the trip fantacizing about you. Be glad it wasn't some stiff lacy thong, a size too small that would scratch and chafe. Or leather bondage paraphernalia. Frankly, have fun with it. It's a pretty harmless fetish.
ROFLMAO!
this is just too funny. you 2 are a perfect match!
and yes, please post a pic--just the shirt would be fine.
Really, the hook is the best part. Nothing says love like "Baby, I put a hook on my wall for your sex shirt."
Additionally, the t-shirt-plus-hook-on-the-wall can serve as cheating insurance. If he ever tries to bring another girl over she'd see the t-shirt on the wall and think that either a) he has a girlfriend or b) he's a serial killer (It puts the t-shirt on its skin).
Hang that shirt up!
yes... this deffinatley happened to me except it was my *ENGAGEMENT RING*. You can't really 'drop red wine' on it or 'claim it scratchs the cornea' (unfortunately it did not).
My advice: Tell him you hate it.
lol:)
CB,
I have sex socks. I must wear them during sex or I feel like superman within five feet of kryptonite. Nah, just j/k, but I do forget to take my socks off often enough.
You have to wear it to sleep, it's not as if you have to wear it to work, god forbid. And if it only glitters up his sheets, then who cares? Or throw it out and then look frantically around the house for it, like you really loved it.
So did glitter get all over the appartement?
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