My boss just told me that I should forge his signature more often. He offered to sit with me and help me learn how to do it properly.
“I’m tired of signing my name,” he explained.
“Can I get one of those mechanical things that signs for you? The one that they use in senator’s offices and stuff?”
“I don’t know what you're talking about, but no.”
Sometimes I feel like I am in an episode of The Office. (British version).
Wednesday
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36 comments:
CBorG
I've "heard" that if you want do a good forgery you should copy the person's name from right to left instead of from left to right in order to eliminate the possibility of adding in your own handwriting style. I "heard" it works.
I'm always for a nostalgic mention of the BBC's version of "The Office." Nothing against the NBC episodes; just think the British one is still underappreciated by comparison.
No advice on how to best forge accurately, however ...
It's actually more accurate if you copy it upside down (because you're concentrating on shapes, not the actual signature), but remember: as with anything, practice makes perfect. Don't go too slow, or your hand will shake too much.
(I learned all this when I worked in forensics.)
WOW, now THAT'S lazy and/or self important.
Ha ha - I totally went through that with my boss. I LOVE your blog by the way. Look forward to reading more. :)
Ummmmm.
A stamp. Have your office manager order him a signture stamp.
I have bosses who ask the same and I refuse. As soon as you get good at it, as soon as you think all is well, you'll sign something they decided-- but neglected to tell you about-- they didn't want signed after all.
Signature stamp. You can get them at any big office supply store.
No, no, no!
1.Eventuallly, it will come back on you and he will deny he ever asked you to do this.
2. There are accepted methods in business for an assistant to sign in lieu of her/his boss; but not forging his signature.
3. Get in writing that you are allowed to sign for him and what you are allowed to sign
4. Get him to empower you to sign your own name & signature on certain letters & documents.
For instance, I sign standardized letters, standardized thank you cards with my boss's name in my handwriting. I would also be able to sign my own name on say, return contract letters.
The only upside to this is a "9 to 5" type situation and if he is willing to give you that much power, use it wisely.
I fully agree with "old lady"'s comments above. This is a prime opportunity for him to potentially make you a "fall guy" (so to speak, of course!) and blame you for something he screws up on.
Tread lightly, and be careful! Don't put yourself in a position where you're going to get in trouble for his mistakes.
Yup Stamp. Although i got some incredibly cool shit when I used to sign my boss' name. I. Mean. Cool. There IS an upside to this...trust me.
It's call a stamp. :-)
Hey can you sign extra pay checks for yourself too?! ^_^
A lot of people I know relate to the British Office, maybe coz it's the original one.
Looks like you're moving up in the world, or maybe he's setting you up to take a hit for his scam...
I can think of one word girl! SOX!!!
Preach on girl. I could not possibly relate to your blog anymore. I spent an hour driving around today trying to find the exact picture frame my boss wanted for a picture his kids drew of him that resemble a retarded Rhinoceros. I heart you & this blog.
Wasnt there another post before this? Why did u delete it? (Abt the model party)...
Ask him to give you written permission to sign your own name on his behalf.
By all means stay away from this forgery bullshit
I never sign anything, even stuff I am supposed to sign with my name. To much responsibilty. I don't get paid for that, I get paid for being damn good at what I do.
Besides, if you get a stamp or some other mechanical device, then he can't sit next to you all cozy-like and teach you how to forge his signature.
get that man a signature stamp and be done with it.
~did you ever get the feeling that your smarter then your boss?
Heheh...A comment that ironically contains not one, but two misspellings. :)
I'd personally like to hear more about the magical device he thinks exists that holds a pen and scribbles out his illegible signature all day. He's obviously not talking about what any other human would use, a rubber stamp, so I'm curious as to his details about this mythical device.
Been there. Done that. Got some good stuff.
Get hold of the paychecks and go nuts.
Or the stamp route which is really very smart. Although my boss never went for it and I signed his name for the duration of my tenure in his office.
I've seen stuff signed for the authorized person as:
Per: insertyournamehere
That person was clearly authorized to sign for but did not have to forge the signature. I would look into that perhaps. Of course, I would check what responsibilities would also be yours if you are signing...
Lol, your boss does sound alot like Ricky Gervais in the office!! Tell him to suck it up and sign. It takes like a second, a little shorter than if he had to set up the damn senate signing thing!!
Risky, risky... pretty soon he'll have you do what next?
i think what the assholes here do is scan the signature in the computer, and then print out the document with the signature already in place.
i kind of like your boss. forgery? progressive...
im a pretty good forgerer.
It's big time trouble if you get caught forging - even with permission. Get the stamp.
Force him to sign his name in blood. Just a thought.
My first boss empowered me to have access to his insurance and medical records because he hated dealing with that stuff. I also have access to his Verizon and Capital One accounts. It's 4 years later and not that I check up on it, but I'm pretty sure that if I wanted to I could do a lot of damage...
I swear that David Brent was inspired by my former manager. I cackle every time I watch that show.
Your boss sounds like a pompous ass. God, how many docs does he sign a day? It's not like he's sitting at a book siging constantly autographing things.
I have one in my office that was my Grandfather's. He's dead, but it's still fun to use. You can get them, but they are extremely expensive. This one was used to sign payroll checks (500 or so) back in the day.
Wow, now that's lazy (on your boss' part). Your blog reminds me of "office Space" a little bit - but in a good way. :-P
lol, your boss sounds somewhat like the manager that you want to be.
I found the magical machine your boss was referring to:
http://invention.smithsonian.org/video/vid-popup.aspx?clip=1&id=217
Learn to forge & get a hold of his Corporate Amex card. Then take your friends out for dinner...
& Check out Bobby's nutty link...
CB, you're thinking about an auto pen. As a former auto pen user in a Senator's office I can confirm such a "magical device" does indeed exist.
That is just like my boss!
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