Update/Clarification
I have removed this post, since my attempt at clarification seemed to confuse people further. I had to stop the cycle that would lead to clarifying the clarification on my clarification.
If anything interesting happens, I'll let you know.
19 comments:
hmm....well, you can just wait and see...hope it all works out so that you don't go nuts..
You don't even need to listen to us, CB (although it's nice to think that you do). Just do what's best for you, in your relationship. It seems as though you've got that much down pat.
And keep blogging, because I quite frankly am addicted.
I'm addicted too :) Do what you think is right.
I suppose the mere fact that he said he'd lose contact but that you didn't agree to his tempting offer is a good thing..it only showed how much he was willing to give.
Wish you the best
The comments are pretty damn funny if you consider that most of it - like 99% - is simply projection and people are just talking about themselves.
My favorite: "If I didn't have a thing for penises, I'd become a lesbian."
That girl is singing my song.
Anyhow, you've just got to be honest, with yourself and with him. That takes care of most things. Hysteria is really human, so is infidelity. Finding your way through little things helps later on with the big ones.
What is so darn horrible about personalising a comment?
To me it seems like in not taking up RBF on his offer, you were showing how much you really want to give to the relationship yourself, as well as RBF.
There's nothing wrong with making comments cute -- but you step on someone's toes without knowing it, and those people snap at you instead of just being quiet. I've done it myself, and had it done to me.
I'm proud of you, CB! Lol. As funny as that sounds... more mom info!
Sorry. Didn't mean to snap at anyone about the happy "personalized" comments I was just trying to say that I, personally, won't usually comment unless I feel like I can add to the conversation...or something like that.
Nobody get their panties in a twist over what I say. This is CB's blog. Talk about her. Ignore me. If you want to bitch at me do it on my blog.
Poor CB. Caught in the crossfire of angry bloggers.
I have to admit I didn't get to this particular twist the events had taken, but I have to comment still. Offering not to see the ex re-bf, in my books, saved a lot. It was one of those offers that have to be made in order to keep things on the positive side. And one of those offers that, once made, are turned down.
Now the real question is, did Be-bf know/anticipate you were going to turn his offer down when he made it? 'Cause if he did, that totally takes the value off it.
But I hope he didn't know it, and made the offer of not seeing his ex with good will and sincere intentions of carrying through with it if needed.
And, I have to add myself on the long list of people saying: more mom, please! =) She sounds like a real character.
CB
I don't think any of your commenters have ever said anything intentionally to you to be mean. I know I haven't...I think we are all concerned for your well being. I know I have lived a bit longer than you and have made mistakes and have seen a lot of other women make mistakes with men. I guess I feel protective of you like I would feel toward a daughter or a young friend. Perhaps I have voiced things in a way that you could take as someone just being mean or sarcastic but I guess that is just my own strange sense of humor. I really do hope things work out for you with reexbf if that is what you want. Maybe you have only posted what is funny about him and not what is real or endearing. Maybe that is why I see him as such a sterotypical older user male. Maybe that is what I react against.I don't know... What I do know is that I am a caretaker by nature and by profession and I just don't want to see any harm come to you either in the short or long run. So kiddo, keep posting and I for one will be here for you to celebrate your wins and to console you through your losses and give you my own take on things. Even if it sounds a little strange or sarcastic sometimes...I do care...
Why do we fawn and give men mad kudos for acting like normal human beings? It's NOT such a stretch for a man to say he won't see his ex-girlfriend - in fact, that would be the best thing to do, yet because he offered to do the right thing, everyone says, "Oh, he's so awesome, and so committed." Are our expectations of men that low? I was witness to this one mad hatter on a message board who totally insulted this one (innocent) lady, starting threads about her looks and job left and right. Then all of a sudden he apologized, and everyone just fawned, "oooh, you're so sweet, I knew it!" Um, HELLO, he was doing what he should have done in the first place -- not act like a jackass.
Anyway...
CB
update/clarification
re: my previous comment
Not that I am completely sure you are an actual person and not just a charming figment of someone's imagination...
(I am not even completely sure I am not just a charming figment of someone's imagination)
but I would give the same advice to any of the charming other commenters that visit your blog.
*laughs*
Fairscape is like me before I converted to Company Bitchism.
When is the ex moving to the city? You MUST meet her and give us the dirt on your blog. You can always pull the ultimate HBIC (head bitch in charge) maneuver, as I once did: when I met my new (passionately new) boyfriend's ex at his 5 yr highschool reunion, we ended up drunk and making out in the back of her car while she drove a bunch of us jackasses around. It was not one of my shining star moments, but it certainly established a pecking order ; )
Hey I added a link to you from my blog!
listen we dont know each other and all i have to go on is what you write here. so i am going to say this and hope you and your re-boyfriend understands. out of respect for his woman in any way, he should not contact or respond to any contact with his ex. you are setting yourself up for some real hurtin.
at least you know when you learn the hard way you can always post it here.
Blink.
Focus people.
Get back to asking for nude pictures.
And, listen CB-- we need updates on ALL of the characters at the office.
Take your mind off the drama at hand and make us all laugh in your wonderful CB way.
I think I understand why you did not take RBF up on his offer to not see his ex (not that you asked my opinion.) It seems you were rather unsure about the depth of RBF's feelings for you. Unsure if he was placed in a tempting situation, would he cheat on you or be tempted to cheat. By offering to not see evil ex-girlfriend, RBF revealed how much he cared for you, thereby making the offer unnecessary.
WOW!!! The things that go on when you are away!
And what is this about nude pictures???
What have I been missing?
Advise you to stick to gut feeling - assign the ex's ex to the ex-files!
Any doubt in his mind re. you/him will not be assuaged until you are ... and who comes first in this?
As a famous person once commented, and as you are showing us ;) 'All the reasons to you got together in the first place still exist, along with the reasons for breaking up'.
Keep us informed. But of course ...
amen, rhi!
Naked pictures is what keeps us all coming back after all...or at least the prospect of them.
The idea of solving relational problems at the hands of people that read and comment in blogs is akin to the mental patients prescribing their own medicines or like the pilots asking the passengers how to get to Buffalo.
-Stay back there and ogle the flight attendants.
Glad you feel better. Who cares whether Zen mum or strange bloggers had influence. I do think you should set ex GF up with Grant Miller anyway though...
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