Not only has my moving situation gotten me all aflutter, it has apparently given Re-Boyfriend twisted panties as well.
It started with the occasional mournful comment: “I really hope you don’t move to Brooklyn.”
This was soon replaced by miserable certainty: “I know you’re going to wind up moving to Brooklyn.”
Then came the detailed panic: “We’ll never see each other and you’ll be mad if I don’t come over to your apartment. And you won’t come here as much because you’ll be far. And we’ll have to plan everything. And we’ll turn into a weekend couple. And I’m going to miss you.”
Last night he entered the tearfully optimistic phase, most likely brought on by a few glasses of wine. “I really want this to work,” Re-Boyfriend said, staring at me with a look of grim determination and love, eerily reminiscent of Scarlet O’ Hara.
My patience finally collapsed.
“You’re being fucking ridiculous,” I told him.
“I’m just worried...”
“Are you going to break up with me if I move to Brooklyn?”
“No.”
“Good. I’m not going to break up with you either.”
“I know. I’m just worried…”
“Oh. My. God.”
I looked at him thoughtfully.
“I’m going to take a year off work and join the Peace Corps. Will you date me when I come back?”
Though this was a blatant lie, I felt that I was raising a very pertinent point. Which was that Brooklyn wasn’t so far. And that love should know no geography. And that I could go into the Peace Corps if I wanted to. And many other points that, in retrospect, are not really points at all but the random musings of a semi-drunken mind.
“You’re not joining the Peace Corps,” Re-Boyfriend said. He was right.
“Yes, I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes I am. And I just want to know if you’d date me when I came back.”
Re-Boyfriend looked at me, trying to ascertain whether I was even partly serious or just totally batshit insane.
“You couldn’t find anyone better,” I told him.
“I could find someone different.”
I hit him. I was hurt. Though I had no intentions of joining the Peace Corps, or otherwise existing in a world without takeout for a year at a time, I still felt that Re-Boyfriend should be supportive of my fictitious plans.
“CB, I don’t want to break up with you ever,” Re-Boyfriend said in his most patient voice. “And you’re not joining the Peace Corps anyway.”
"But I might move to Brooklyn."
"I know, I’m worried."
You know how some couples go to therapy and let analysts tape them arguing, then analyze their "fighting style"?
I will never do that.
Wednesday
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43 comments:
Getting to Brooklyn, is just like getting anywhere - you take the subway. Brooklyn is not some third world developing nation. If you do move to Brooklyn, he'll spend all his time there. Going home to Brooklyn, less hot, less crowded, more trees, is so nice.
If he's so concerned about you leaving him when you move to Brooklyn he should move to Brooklyn with you OR find you a no fee apt. in Manhattan.
That is the true mark of a strong relationship: being supportive of your mate's plans, fictitious or not. Bravo for a great post!
The Boomer Chronicles
Maybe he could sublet his place and move in to a cheaper and bigger apartment with you in Brooklyn.
I sympathize with RBF. I said something like that once and I wasn't just hit, I was almost bitchslapped...
People who are all "Yeah, Brooklyn!" only take that position because they can't afford to live in Manhattan. Face it biatches, Manhattan is wear it's at, and Brooklyn may as well be Topeka.
CB. . . do what you gotta do. . . he'll live. . .
Ciao
I love Brooklyn! That said, when you live in Brooklyn it's much easier to maintain friendships and relationships with other people who also live in Brooklyn... and pretty tough to stay in touch with the Manhattanites.
red_sepia, I can afford to live in Manhattan, but I've always chosen not to. Thus I've saved thousands of extra dollars a year. What that means is that the aggregate sum I've put away over the last say, ten years, allows me to do all sorts of things you Manhattan dwellers can only dream of...like take vacations abroad every few months, or just jet of to Paris for the weekend, buy a house upstate, and occasionally take months off from work at a time. Oh yeah, I also live in an affordable three (3!) bedroom apartment. So who's the biatch?
Yay Brooklyn! (Although lately it's Queens for me).
I broke up with someone when I found out they were moving to Brooklyn. I swear.
It's far.
I agree. Love knows no geography, but it also appears as though Re-Bo knows no geography, either.
brooklyn is nothing! at least it's not queens - then you are offically "undate-able"!!
brooklyn's cool..
RB is a tool. seriously.
when are you going to wake up and realise you and he aren't going to last for long.
you will end up living in Queens, by yourself, mid 40's, with just your cats...
having grown up in manhattan i can honestly say that i prefer brooklyn. the bars (the price of drinks), the hotties, the wide open spaces. and oh yes, the housing. all better. only losers prefer manhattan. i agree about queens though.
If that post is a sample of your fighting you two don't need therapy. Trust.Me.
I've always thought that a significant other should have to ride a train to see you anyway. It's a nice test of commitment.
It sounds like he's a dopey spoon-fed white boy, afraid of getting rocks thrown at him from little minority children in Bed-Stuy.
Just sayin'.
You know how some couples go to therapy and let analysts tape them arguing, then analyze their "fighting style"?
I will never do that.
Because that's what blogs are for! weeee!
And yet he did not re-open a case for you moving in with him...even *with* the wine speaking!
I agree with kiki *waves to kiki* What's with this guy? I get that he wants you, loves you, needs you, whatever, but the drama? He's a guy. I love a guy with feelings, but not one with so many feelings he's always moping over something with a constantly drippy nose. I'm not one to give serious relationship advice over the web (and I bet you're not one to take it), but this guy...he doesn't sound like your type.
ki two has pinned the tail on the donkey
CB, you stay with this guy and i'll begin your collection and get you your first kitten for christmas
loved ur blog CB :D
& move to brooklyn..he wont DIE.
it will even make him realize how much u mean to him..
it's so romantic, i can hardly stand it!
beautiful. He knows you well :D
"it's so romantic, i can hardly stand it!"
what the fuck is so romantic???
kissyface (the name makes me sceptical) what the fuck are you talking about??
"beautiful. He knows you well :D"
are all people reading this blog so stupid???
this doesn't make any sense
Are you David Sedaris?
I live in Brooklyn, but an apartment off the L or JMZ lines could be the death sentence to a relationship.
sometimes you put out bait, and the exact fish you were eyeing takes it.
love reading your blog, your funny
lol oh Re-Boyfriend.
I think in the future, therapists will have to analyze patients' blogs
RBF is a tool.
But what Billy Idol Jr. said, don't get a place along the JMZ line. Or the G. Hold out for real estate on a more convenient line. Trust me on this.
I'm still lost as to why you can't just stay with your current roommate. Has she already committed her rent check elsewhere?
As for Brooklyn vs Manhattan, I'll not go there, since, well, I've never actually BEEN there. However, when my BF wanted to move to the "Hip" area, which was going to add 30mins to my 15min DRIVE(no easy subway hopin' to be had), I made certain he got a place much nearer to me.
Seriously, the threat of not staying over, does wonders. RBF need to pony up and move in, if that's what you want.
Completly off point but...
'Flavor of Love' premiering this Sunday night, ug 6th @ 10 pm. Oh let the drama begin...
I agree, don't move to Brooklyn.
Wow, I MUST be stupid because I certainly don't know half as much about your life as everyone else simply from reading your blog. ;-)
Did you ask for advice?
Good, cause I wasn't going to offer it up for no reason.
Keep up the good wit, you're entertaing (and apparently angering) plenty of bloggers.
Crazysilver.
I believe when someone blogs in public, they are asking for others opinions. If they were not, why blog?
Duh.
I like Brooklyn, for what it's worth. My best friend lives in Brooklyn. You should get some information about the Peace Corps and leave it around where RBF can find it, just to mess with him.
I just read that JANE article too.
Sometimes the pair of you remind of two roosters in a cockfight. No pun intended.
Hey what happened to the post about your colleague accepting another job? Hopefully you weren't busted on it.
Hey, what happened to the post about the dear colleague who is leaving... I wanted to read it again ....
Whats with the deleted post ?. AA.
Tell Re-BF how this move, by making you have to work to see another, will make your relationship hot, igniting passion in a way that a sparkly shirt simply cannot.
I'd go so far as to say that moving to Brooklyn will make you star crossed lovers. It will be delicious.
I think that he should be open to any possibility or scenario that you might decide on, and that in the end, you need to decide what YOU would really like to do. ReBo will respect that. If he doesn't, he will eventually, and if he still doesn't, he's not any catch that you should want to have around.
Good luck with the moving. Beyond stressful, I'm sure.
CB~
i don't know you nor will i pretend to know you, but it seems like you might actually like it in brooklyn. its much more laid back, and would probably suit your lifestyle and pocketbook much better. don't listen to stuck-up assholes like red_sepia that think just because its more expensive, manhattan is the greatest place on earth. do however, listen to billy idol, and if your work and loved ones are in manhattan... well, its certainly a tough decision.
i *absolutely* hate to say it, but i agree with some of the other commenters that re-bf is seeming awfully whiny and teary lately. pms?
we need a post that makes him seem very, terribly manly, and we need it soon. only then will i propose that he move to brooklyn with you...
good luck.
Did I mention no fee?
http://newjersey.craigslist.org/apa/190564364.html
I wonder, is Re-Boyfriend one of those guys that always has at least a semi-serious girlfriend?
Guys are ridiculously insecure when you talk about breaking up with them. Don't take what he said to you seriously, it's a self-defense mechanism installed along with their penises.
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