Potato Chips
You know what is actually incredibly challenging and rewarding, as far as workday activities go? Trying to eat a bag of potato chips in complete silence while on an international phone-in conference call.
My strategy:
Place chip on tongue.
Allow saliva to absorb salt.
Slowly roll around mouth until all crunch has been lost.
Swallow.
Pause to gauge whether you have inadvertently made a noise and interrupted the conversation.
Place another chip on tongue.
The chips are now gone and so I have resorted to chronicling the experience on my blog in an attempt to ward off sleep.
This conference call, like most things that require only the ability to hold an object to your ear in complete silence, is less than thrilling.
21 comments:
ewww...but I am taking note of that for the next meeting...Last one I attended was a morning meeting and I came in with breakfast tacos...everybody asked if I had brought enough for everyone to share :P
That is one of the verbal skills tests that all admins must pass. Another good one is, answer the phone with a mouth full of chocolate caramel and sound like there is nothing in your mouth.
Mute button!!! It's one of the few things I learned during my internship...
And I thought I was the only incognito chip eater around!
lol :P
CB. . . I'll bet it took you a long time to consume those chips in that manner. . . do you think the crinkling of the bag might have given you away. . . or the tapping of the last few crumbs of salt onto your tired tongue might have been thought to be an international incident.. . . will tomorrows headline be
CB creates international uproar. . . Asian busness partners pull out of lucrative American deal over Chip Chomping.
Ciao
CB
This is why the soft cookie was invented. No crunch detectable on local or international calls. Says so right on the bag.
You method is similar to tricks employed by most friends I knew in school while eating in class without getting caught.
No matter how inane they seem, some skills can come in handy at the most unexpected times. Once learnt, never forgotten.
Good job!
use the mute button next time kid...you'd actually be able to enjoy the crunch of the chip...isn't that the point??!!
i've had that problem...eating chips in the office, especially a quiet office is no easy task
Ok I am going to assume your phone system - phone, does not have a mute button.
Not that the mute button saves all, I forgot that it was NOT on one time and managed to say "dude, what the fuck are you wearing" during one conf. call. I realized my mistake when the line went silent.... I looked to the red light with great hope, but alas it was not there....
oh my gosh i almost spit out my drink i was drinking! that is hilarious and so true! you crack me up!:)
Why did you have to be in on the conference call if your role was to maintain silence? That's what conferencing them all to your boss's line and then hanging up and going on about your day is for.
'object to your ear in complete silence'. Is that what we are doing and calling it these days ? Good to be in on the lingo of the day.
AA
I've done that before to try and spare the other person from listening to my crunching. The worst is if you do that with salt and vinegar chips or even regular flavoured chips. The salt on those chips wind up making your tongue equivalent to sand paper.
It's all about the mute button!
There should be a button on your phone labeled "Mute". This is ingenious, as it allows you to hear the conversation without them being able to hear you. Try it next time.
More than one person has suggested using the mute button on my phone but there is no mute button on my phone.
If I spent over an hour on a conference call with nothing to do but stare at my phone and devise ways to move about unheard, yet failed to see the mute button, that would be very sad. I don't want you all to think I am even more helpless than I am.
Helpless does not describe you one bit. No worries.
That is the normal procedure I use to eat the first one or two (sometimes three or four) chips out of the bag. Then I get impatient and just crunch'em.
I don't eat while on conference calls.
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