Yesterday I had the pleasure of reading what may have been the stupidest e-mail I have ever received. Some poor, deluded soul wrote to ask me for relationship advice.
There are two possible reasons for this foolishness:
1. He thinks my relationship with Re-Boyfriend is such perfection as to suggest that I have mastered the delicate art of communicating with the opposite sex.
2. He believes I am mysteriously powerful and that if I read his blog I will make something awesome happen.
Though I am (clearly) a relationship goddess with mysterious powers, I don't have a response to the e-mail, which is below. If you have any advice to give, leave a comment.
Hey CB,
I'm a long time reader of your blog. Everyday at work I wait for the bosses to leave so I can check out what's going on in the world of CB. However, I have never commented on your posts (although I came close once, to posting a comment). I think I just wouldn't do your blog justice unless I had some witty one-liner that Grant Miller could appreciate.
Anyway, my fiancee and I have been engaged for 8 months and we have our ups and downs. She has male friends while I have my female friends. No problem there. However, she sometimes goes out with one of these male friends and what they do can easily be considered a date, ie:
She called me (or actually I called her and then she mentioned to me) and said she was going to a movie with Greg. We were tight for money at the time and I felt partially jealous that this other guy is going to a movie with my fiancee while I'm stuck at work. So I told her if he's paying, it's fine I guess. I still didn't like it. Then I come to find out (by finding a receipt of the same date my fiancee (Steph) and Greg went to the movie) that they went to dinner before the movie, had drinks (which she paid for), and then went to his house afterword.
God I was hurt! I explained how bad that hurt me and now she wants to do that to me all over again by going for drives with other guy friends in her new car and I feel it is only a matter of time before she goes to a movie again or out to dinner or something else.
I want her to hang out with her friends (plural which I stressed the plural part to her) but not on a one-on-one opposite sex date-type hanging out. Am I being unreasonable?
We're both 25 years old CB. I think you can help me because I can identify with you in so many ways from your blog. Please tell me what you think.
Thank you so much,
Hatchet
P.S. If you need to know more about our relationship: www.hatchetphoenix.blogspot.com
Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t say the e-mail was entertaining or unusual. I'm assuming it's a “Read my blog” ploy but I don’t have the energy to go look. I’m still hungover.
Friday
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38 comments:
Do the guy a favor and Tell the fool he's being a stooge! His "girlfriend" is out hosing other men plain and simple while he pays for it.
I was the same age when I got hammered by a sex goddess, who was taking a pounding from about 5 other guys! Live and learn - but, regardless, that sex was the best ever! Hatchet, take the memory and run!
I think that if the guy is insecure about these friends of his fiance's, he should tell her he would like to get to know them better. Once he becomes friends with some of them himself he may be able to trust them. If it still isn't working after that, he should ask her to respect his feelings and not see them. Either that or he needs counseling to work out his trust issues.
Just because she is hanging out with other guys does not mean she is sleeping with them. If she was staying over at their houses however, or she started lying to him, then she is cheating.
I think they should live separately until such time as she is willing to respect their finances. Committment is 100%; including finances. If she is not ready, they should have separate lives, or they should be more inclusive with their friends. It's not so much her going out with a male friend, but so many male friends so often. That's selfish and displays an unwillingness to be flexible.
First of all, they're way too young to be getting married. Secondly, here's the rule: The only good male friend is a gay one. Otherwise, there is always potential for sex, even if it's I Feel Ugly And Need Someone To Validate My Magnetic Womanliness sex. Not to discourage him from what is obviously *such* a loving and nourishing relationship! ;-)
Ta!
Frankly I am more creeped out by the fact that he has a whole blog devoted to her! What the fuck? It's kind of psycho.
Note to self: Never email CB :P
Run! For God's sake, man. Run! This woman is a cheater in spades.
She has some serious issues. Betcha she's got Borderline Personality Disorder. My mom's got it and I've been watching that shit happen for 25 years.
Fine, marry her - that is your decision, but please, please don't have kids with her.
LMAO, he took the blog down.
I love 2'fer days!
The woman doesn't sound like a cheater. My guess is her fiance is extremely suffocating, so she likes to hang out with her friends. So what? I have tons of guy friends and I hang out with them one on one alot. Sometimes they buy or I buy- big deal. He didn't take down the blog- CB linked it wrong.
This guy needs to grow up.
I can't even believe that people are having problems with her behavior... it's not like a penis can jump out of someone's pants and say, "LISTEN, I KNOW WE'RE JUST FRIENDS, BUT SINCE WE'RE DRINKING ALCOHOL UNCHAPERONED, WE HAVE TO BANG OR BABIES WILL DIE" and convince all females to do so.
Friends are friends. Well, unless they're having sex.
Either way, I know I'd be insulted if my sig. other was writing that E-mail.
hey dude. how can i contact your wife?
she sounds like an easy lay
I got a blogger login just for this post. My advice? Don't get married. It's clear that you're not ready.
A) You have to communicate with HER if it's bothering you that badly, not to the entire internet universe and a random assortment of other complete strangers via blog.
B) Pray like hell that she does not read The Company Bitch.
C) Be secure in your relationship, or don't get married. You're smothering her. Guaranteed. Expect divorce within five years if you don't stop getting upset over minor issues like that. Let her go out with her male friends. Many of them may have pre-dated you. Trust that she's not cheating, or don't freaking marry her.
Going to a dinner and movie alone does not constitute a date and is not something to be suspicious over. If it did, i'd have "dated" most of my male and female friends and half of my family.
Unless she deliberately misleads you, sneaks around your back, does things with these guys that truely skirt the boundaries of friendliness and romance, unless she does any of the above you're being unreasonable.
Think about how you'd feel if the roles were reversed and answer your own question.
Maybe you've cheated on someone yourself and that's why you're so possessive? If that's the case, don't project your guilt on to her.
Put the marriage talk on hold and work on strengthening your relationship because you guys don't seem mature enough yet. You're only 25. You have plenty of time to get married and settled down.
I second kiki's idea.
Never commented on ur blog earlier.. but just couldn't resist this time. This guy is definately an attention seeker. And you just gave it to him on a silver platter. Where till now he dint get a single hit to his blog, you just ensured that your million fans take a look at his blog. Congratulations on encouraging a stupid attention seeking fool!!
Dear Hatchet,
Your fiance is banging other guys.
Sincerely,
Broady
PS hope this helps
You'd think that if he was going to give you a link to his blog he would have WRITTEN A BETTER BLOG.
PS. OMG READ MY BLOG IT'S HI-LARIOUS!
Get a life. Any life.
Does Hatchet know that there are tons of cool singles waiting to chat with him right now on Livelinks chat line?
Dude's totally pulling a 'read my blog' ploy which is really a shame because clearly he is obsessed over his woman. Poor bastard.
oh holy christ he sounds an utter nutjob! the fact that he got annoyed that she wouldnt help load the dishwasher (like thats a two person job) and the whole creepy obsession. i hope is fiance gets out of it before he kills her for speaking to the postman or something
I read his blog. Waah, waaah, waaah.
I advised him to "dump the bitch". I'd have told her the same thing, but she isn't blogging...or at least not as far as I can tell.
okay. this guy could be nuts... or he could really have no one else to turn to for advice, therefore idolizing you CB. so... lets help the guy out.
Sir,
your fiance is fucking everything she can get her hands on. She is no longer feeling the need to be faithful to you in any way so she has found other men to fulfill her needs. Its not saying that your not manly. its saying that your not manly enough for her. shes probably they type who gets turned on by the domineering controling man. which yes... can be hot if shes an extremely independant woman. so ... can her ass. tell her that she can either get rid of all her male friends while you keep all your female friends or she can hit the road.
once she leaves, go screw as much female tail as you can get your penis on.
thank you,
yas.
Come on CB, aren't you going to reply to the poor, misguided fool?
oh CB
Won't you come and read my blog?
If you do my formerly imperfect life will be perfect.
Oh boo hoo, I'm an attention sponge.
I'm a doormat.
Please CB , come and spit your venom on me.
Wah!
Sober up girl. Quick!
First off, the reality of how different life is for two 25 year olds in New York and in wherever-Bumblefuck this guys lives is really staggering.
Secondly, if you read his blog, the sheer number of guys his girl is obviously boinking is very very impressive. The fact that she is also using his credit card to pay for the dates is just plain funny.
First off, I feel your hangover, I have one myself. It doesn't get any easier when you get older, crap.
Secondly, This guy? What a freak. Neither one of them is ready to be married, especially if every single, EVERY SINGLE ONE of his Blogs is about how he can't decide if he should leave her. Read what you've already written, you've got your own damn answer. Stop clogging CB's e-mail with your attention seeking cheating girlfriend drivel.
I've read some of your blog. This relationship does not sound like a good match. I guarantee you can be happier in life than it sounds like you are now. Don't waste time in a relationship that doesn't make you feel secure. Move on...
Hatchet needs to grow a set, and get thoughts of marriage out of his head. Neither of them seems to know what they want - it sounds like more than her work buddy is a flake when it comes to commitments.
Do you honestly believe she unwittingly makes up for stuff that pissed you off - multiple times?! Walk away and stop getting played, because it's obvious to everyone but you that this relationship is not working for anyone but her.
Kudos to you for not being a cheater!!
Wow, how familiar this sounds. I once had a male friend who was crazy about his girlfriend...who was crazy about him...and also liked to drink and party with other guys. While this male friend didn't create a blog on which to bitch about his love, I got to hear about some of the ups and downs they went through, leading up to their demise. I liked the guy (silly me) through the whole thing, and I got to date him after the previous run-around girl, but we ended after several months as well. Dude, you need some self-esteem. I haven't read all the rest of the comments here, but you really need to figure out what you want, and then get it, or find someone who will treat you (and not use you) like you should be treated...decently.
It will be redundant for me to comment here that she has been showing her "OH! Face" off (OH! OH! OH!) to her various guy friends, because several have already done so. So I will saunter over to his blog to do it.
CB - thanks for the laugh
what i can't believe is that more than 20 people then gave HIM advice on YOUR blog!
i admit i am more of a lurker on your blog, but i love it!
keep sharing the stories!
I'm sure this has already been said in the 33 comments above but if you can't trust her then break it off.
I have spoken, thus let it be done.
The poor bastard's wife is cheating on him and he can't figure it out.
*snort* dude's a doormat.
*wipewipe*
Um, is anyone else creeped out that he has an entire blog with over six months of entries dedicated to espousing his love of, and tribulations with, one woman?
If someone dedicated a blog to me, I'd be afraid of seeing a dead rabbit's head fall through the cat-door.
There is no such thing as heterosexual oppisite sex "friendship." In most cases the guy is too much of a pussy to tell this girl he wants to be with her. Girls have guy friends to keep a penis on reserve. So when the girls relationship ends they have a quick penis to jump on. I will not stay in a relationship with a girl who has guy "friends."
2 exceptions: If their parents are friends and they have known each other for at least 10 years. 2. Friends-in-law, which is a good friends girlfriend.
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