You know what’s fun? When halfway through a job interview you realize that not only are you incredibly under-qualified, you actually really don’t want the job. In fact, you would rather be pretending to work at your desk than sitting in a strange office, fielding such open-ended questions as "Tell me about yourself," from a woman who looks like a frog with a bald spot.

You contemplate getting up with no explanation and running down the hall (she’ll never catch you) or asking for a bathroom break and then sneaking off to the elevators (you’ll never see her again). Then you realize you don’t have the balls for something like that.

You begin your more appropriate plan to insinuate that the interview is a huge waste of time.

“You know, do you actually think I would be any good at this job? I don’t have a lot of experience and I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.” You throw in a yawn for good measure.

Unfortunately, a secret sheet of job requirements exists, on which “Blonde” and “Has scuffed shoes” ranks higher than “Enthusiastic” and “Hard-worker.” This is the only explanation for why the woman continues to chat with you for an hour and a half.

You go back to an office that wants to know why your dentist appointment went so long. Even though all you want to do is eat a bag of M&Ms, you have to pretend you are unable to eat due to the aftereffects of novocaine and some time-consuming procedure.

This week is an absolute failure.