Apathy
On the subway this morning I suddenly grabbed Re-Boyfriend’s wrist, looked at the time, then slumped back in my seat. “Fuck, I’m going to be late for the meeting.”
I pouted for a moment, then shrugged my shoulders. “Oh well.”
“How late?”
“An 8am breakfast meeting,” I said. It was already 8:15.
“Seriously?”
“Well, it’s not that bad, I mean people are late all the time.”
Re-Boyfriend looked a bit mollified.
“It’s just bad because I have to walk past the meeting room to get to my desk,” I continued.
Re-Boyfriend stared at me.
“What?”
“Just don’t walk in with a bagel and coffee,” Re-Boyfriend said, searching for something that could be salvaged even as we sat on the subway.
“Why not?”
“You can’t walk in with a bagel and coffee.”
“Why not?” I repeated indignantly.
He stared again.
“If I don’t get it first, I’ll just leave later to get coffee and I’ll end up wasting more work day hours.” My logic was irrefutable.
“You don’t see how walking into a meeting forty-five minutes late, carrying breakfast, would send the wrong idea.”
“Well, it’s not technically late late, I mean I’ll be there before nine, and I’m not going to the meeting anymore. I mean, it’ll probably be over and they're really boring anyway.”
“You just don’t care about your job at all anymore, do you.”
"Nope."
I wrote this, while eating my bagel, instead of going to the meeting forty minutes late.
It is like the story the (very dear, sort of departed) Office Slacker once told me by way of explaining why he himself did not attend the vast majority of meetings.
“You know, CB, a very successful friend of mine once said, ‘The point of meetings is to speak and show off, not to listen. If you’re not going to speak, you shouldn’t bother going.’”
Office Slacker had looked at me with such a look of triumph, that I had almost felt bad as I pointed out that the friend was probably suggesting that Office Slacker should make a point of speaking at meetings, not that Office Slacker should stop going to all meetings.
“Huh,” Office Slacker had said, absorbing that new bit of information before happily shrugging his shoulders. “Well, I’m still not going.”
25 comments:
CB - I totally agree with your logic! I called my boss the other day to let her know that I would be late because there was an accident on the freeway. Then... I stopped off and grabbed a bagel and coffee on my way in. I realized that I was late, but still - like you said - you're already late - you might as well tack on a few more minutes and grab your breakfast while you are out rather than leave later and waste more time... my co-workers seem to share re-boyfriend's opinion... oh well - we are still employed at this point right? So what's a few minutes to pick up a bagel?!
A bagel is one of the necessities of life: food, shelter, blahblah. Meeting? Not so much.
My very first job out of school, I used to walk into the office a few minutes late carrying a Snapple in my hand. My colleagues would stare, horrified and cry "You can't walk in here 'late' with a Snapple in your hand!" I actually did get fired from that job, but every job since then I have no qualms about walking in with all sorts of breakfast type things in full view, late or not late, and really, no one gives a crap.
Consider the options, wake up at an ungodly hour to get to the meeting on time, or get there knowing everyone else has cut through the crap and gotten to the point, the time when you walk in, bagel and coffee in hand.
Has any breakfast meeting started on time, and what kind of unproductive bum schedules a breakfast meeting?
My company recently instituted a company wide daily Huddle requirement at 8am in the morning (basically a 10 minute talk about prechosen topics that each employee takes turns leading). Our office only has about 15 people in it, thus if you are late everyone notices. Upper management claims the huddle reinforces customer service but I think it is a not-so-subtle ploy to get everyone to work on time. I used to show up around 15 minutes late everyday and now I really miss my snooze button.
Frankly I like coming in, showing my face, and then disappearing for half an hour to get my bagel. Heck to me that is a true definition of an office slacker. And I take my titles seriously.
What happened to Office Slacker?
I used to go to our weekly department meeting when it was at 10am. Then it got rescheduled to 7 or 7:30am- either way, ridiculous. When I decided not to show up and my boss noticed (after about 3 weeks), he suggested I might be able to call in instead of showing up in person.
I told him it may not be so professional for me to call in from the treadmill, where I'd be at the time of the meeting- huffing and puffing my way through a communications update. Luckily, he thought it was funny enough and agreed. Yay! Now I just hope he doesn't wise up and change his mind.
Wait. Someone calls a breakfast meeting and doesn't provide breakfast? What the hell! In my way of thinking you have more than your right to stop and get your bagel and coffee first or just skip said meeting out of protest for making you get up early and still have to pay for your own sustanance. Where is the union when you need them?
If anybody asks why you didn't make the meeting, tell them you had some family issues with your dad's illness. If you're going to make up a good excuse, you may as well milk it for all it's worth! Hell, they should buy you a fruit-basket!
Everytime we get somebody new in the office, we have bagels. And everytime the person who plans it makes it happen before 9am, everyone complains about having to be in "on time." Our work day starts at 8am. Everyone starts arriving around 8:30am. Ah, the joys of a slacker company.
I don't think I have ever been "on time" to work....but like you, CB, it is worth being late to have my bagel and juice. So, I get to work around 9:15 but it takes so long for the cream cheese to soften enough to spread that I usually don't "start work" til 10 or so. I love it. And there's no one other than my boss who can say anything, and I know he won't because he thinks I am one step below God....maybe even higher...and he would NEVER think of firing my slacker ass.....
hold the phone... i thought re-boyfriend was away for three weeks. he's back?
I HATED our weekly staff meetings. They were a waste of time and really just held so our department manager could walk in late, announce his arrival and complain. It was a waste of time.
2 good questions have already been presented, so I'm just letting you know that I'm interested in knowing:
1) what's up with office slacker? is he gone?
2)re-boyfriend is back from his trip?
Where is Office Slacker?
I need the guidance only the truly indifferent can offer.
Office Slacker has been gone for awhile people. She wrote the long post about him and how she would miss him and then promptly deleted it all because (I am guessing) it was too specific.
I am assuming that Re-Boyfriend is back since he was on the subway.
I've missed a couple of breakfast meetings this week. Since we have them everyday it's not too big a deal, particularly when they consist of the Bitch Mafia telling me I need to work harder. Admittedly, this is possibly true: I missed the first one because there were tornado warnings issued for darkest Japan. The most prudent thing to do seemed to be to call in sick: a Japanese work ethic I have not. The next day...well, I was still sick. And by the third day, so bored that I went to the damn breakfast meeting. And was told to work harder. And feel better.
I have to say I am shocked. Since when was it ok to walk in either eating breakfast or to leave to buy breakfast? Where I am from, you have brekkie before work or not at all, and the same rules apply in the country I live in, Japan. As for Gaijinity, in this country, I am amazed you still have your job... people, you don't get paid for doing nothing, its called a job for a reason!
You are back!!! I didn't know what happened to you. I have joined your following late (I see you have been bloggin' for a minute). I def. feel your sentiments on this one. I don't like going to our staff meetings since I am a pauper in my office caste system. Jack asses! Alas, I still go... but, I am forever getting to work at 10 AM instead of 9 AM. Oh well. I plan to quit at the end of Dec. Does that make it any better? LOL
I've been giving this some thought, on occasion. Will you always call him Re-Boyfriend? I suppose it's better than just "boyfriend," because that's kind of boring. But... he's been around for awhile. Does he forever-more get the "Re-"? Do you think of him as "the guy I broke up with but now we're together again?" Not a big deal, really, and I guess to everyone on here, he's "Re-BF"... What about "Da-Boyfriend?" :) YOUR BLOG--obviously--doesn't matter really. I still continue to read. (Also, does it freak you out to consider how many people DO read your blog? HMMM)
I came in to work this morning at 8am, without breakfast. After reading this at 10am, I suddenly had an uncontrollable bagel craving. I walked to the nearest bagel shop only to discover all they had left were everything bagels. Gross. I ate leftover Halloween candy instead. Clearly, the lesson here is to get breakfast on the way to work, even if it means being a little late.
Well it's confirmed, meetings are a waste of time ata ll companies. Also confirmed is that it is hell for gaijins working at Japanese companies, either in Japan or elsewhere. They are always telling you, "You must work harder!" without showing you the money...
As for Gaijinity, in this country, I am amazed you still have your job...
As am I, Fuz. Amen Rosey.
I hate the meetings. They are just terrible...
I can not get myself to work on time either.
Because, truly, I don't care.
I'm at the job for the money, health benefits, and 401k. That's all.
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