My First Internet Crush

Dan from The Daily Dump is back. Most of you probably already know this. If you didn’t know then good for you but know this—Dan never posts about “Go to this bar it’s awesome!” or “Yesterday my cat pooped,” but if he did I bet he could make it funny. Also, he is very cute.

Exhibit A: http://www.blogger.com/profile/8501708

Now he’s started a blog called [Redacted] which I am sure is very intelligent and meta and all that but who the hell cares because if you read the Tuesday, November 21st entry, you will find that Dan is available. The black shirt wearing, scruff rocking diva from Exhibit A is available. And he is coming off a break-up which catapults him into official internet crush territory.

If a man was in a relationship we can infer that the man in question is capable of commitment and, most likely, has a sensitive side. This closely correlates with every woman’s fantasy of a man who frolics with puppies in the park and cooks pasta for dinner. (Whatever, I know that is not just me).

A recent break-up also means that the man is probably in no mood to commit again, is most likely a little bitter, and hopefully has developed a drinking/smoking habit. This, as we all know, is pretty close to every woman’s bad boy fantasy. (Sorry Dr. Phil!)

Not to discount looks and humor—there is nothing sadder than an ugly, stupid man still moping over the last girl who let him touch her boobs—but men who have recently undergone an angst-ridden break-up are the best of both fantasy worlds. Ergo, damaged goods is the new sexy.

And, of course, there is Dan’s updated picture.

Exhibit B: http://beta.blogger.com/profile/11658183647655049121

It’s almost too much.

Winner of CB's Internet Affections: Dan

But only for a few months until the break-up luster wears off.