Thursday

The Interview

It is quite disconcerting to be in an interview, selling it hard and suddenly have your mind begin to chant, You are a douche with no sense of humor. You are a douche with no sense of humor. Even more disconcerting is when you don’t know if the chant refers to the interviewer or yourself.

On the one hand, you’re definitely acting like a douche with no sense of humor but on the other hand, you’re pretty sure it’s an act while the man on the other side of the table is most likely a real douche. Especially since your douche act is going over so well with him.

We'll see. I think I could be okay with being a douche with no sense of humor, especially for twice the amount of money I am making now.

18 comments:

jkc said...

yay! I'm the first comment. I have my first job interview in years next week.

Strange Bird said...

Sounds like a good move if it's twice the amount of money and you only have to act like a douche for it.

Catherinette Singleton said...

There's nothing wrong with working with douches and acting like one as long as you're getting paid well. Now, if it were with rat bastards, that's another story.

Alejandra said...

Hmm careful there...twice the amount of money might seem wonderful, but a few months of douchery (faux or otherwise) will start to wear you down. Trust me. I've been there...

eye8theidea said...

And that's the real question, isn't it? Is the money worth it, or would it be better to coast where you are 'til something progressively interesting comes along? Hm.

That's one clever little Yvonne said...

May they have been impressed by your douchiness and be willing to pay you outrageous amounts of money to act like a douche on a regular basis.

Cecile said...

So you got the job? If it is any better at all then your former job, then: congratulations!

Anonymous said...

money talks. go for it.

DevilsHeaven said...

Damn, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has those thoughts during an interview. In fact I usually end up with a running commentary in my head wondering if they can tell what I'm thinking, if they can tell I'm not really paying attention, if they can tell I hate their outfit, if they can tell their benefits package is total crap compared to the one I currently have......etc

SoberCityGirl said...

I have an interview on Friday. I always think I sound like a douche.

Nikki said...

Well if we rule out working with or for douches hardly anyone would be employed. My favorite question is "Why do you want this job?" I, douchily say "Because I would really be able to utilize my skills and develop new ones that would make me even more effective" or some such BS. The REAL answer is "Cuz it pays more, you douche."

When will you know, CB?

The Accidental Bitch said...

Haha! I totally get this. It could be confusing to people who don't have ridiculous thoughts like we do, but I totally get it.

Renovatio said...

Wow, and I honestly thought I was the only one who had stuff chanting in my head on a regular basis...

Laaw-yuhr said...

Balance it this way: well-paid humorless douchebag or working with overly perky co-worker who feels compelled to keep you aprised of her bowels' status.

I thought so.

Anonymous said...

All parties in interviews generally come off as douches.
The question is do you want a fresh new douche or will you stick with the old ones.
Is the new one flowery smelling?

Alpha said...

Every time my boss ever pulled me in my office, I would be chanting, "You are such a dumb fuck...you are such a dumb fuck..." while smiling and being witty to all of his questions. I thought I was the only one who was multi-talented...apparently there are many, many more girls that are just as manipulative as me. ;)

SoberCityGirl said...

I'm so nervous.

kittenpower said...

ha!

That is the ultimate question in life.
Take the money and be unhappy, or don't take the money and be happy.

But if you're already not happy and you'd make more money when at this new gig...it's probably worth a try.

If the place is completely douched-out, you can leave.
Sometimes, you can only learn from experience.

good luck!