My Favorite Parts of the Wedding

As I exited the church in the bridal procession, S. and her date (our friend from college) inappropriately applauded from the pews. “Good job!” “Whoooo!” “Don’t fall!”

A fellow bridesmaid informed me that since I was “the closest to getting married” everyone had decided I would be the one to catch the bouquet. I snorted wine out of my nose and then made sure to hide around the corner of the building during the bouquet toss, smoking cigarettes with S.

Re-Boyfriend, drunk at the reception, had a do-as-I-do dance off with the bride's six year old cousin. The six year old won, but not before Re-Boyfriend tried to do the worm.

The next morning, another bridesmaid innocently asked why S. and I had been taking pictures of each other in the field by the wedding reception hall, prompting S. and I to look at each other in mortified memory of our drunk asses. “Take a picture of me in nature!” “Nature is soooo beautiful.” “I love trees!” "This is why our friend wants to live out here. New York has no nature."

And, throughout it all, seeing my friend pull off her wedding day looking every bit a beautiful, traditional bride while freaking everyone out with her decidedly laid back approach. (Photographer: And do you want to do another photo over there? Bride: Um, sure. Whatever. Photographer: Well, it's really about what you want. Bride: Well let's do it if you think it will look good. Photographer: Do you have any idea what kind of photos you want? Bride: I'm not going to be very helpful. Do you want to talk to my mom or something?)