Rejected Opportunity
My friend’s company is trying to consolidate their office space and free up a large enough area to rent out for some extra cash. To that end, they are encouraging people to work from home part-time. Workers can set up “desk-shares” with one person using an area Monday-Wednesday and another using it Thursday and Friday.
That is a totally awesome opportunity for said friend.
If she elected to work at home part-time, the company would buy her “home office equipment” which would include a printer, a new computer and whatever else she could convince them that she needed. Then, at the end of the year, through some tax thing that I don’t understand, she would get back HALF the money she had spent on rent.
That would be like a 25% salary increase for me. A 25% salary increase for working in my pajamas with My Super Sweet Sixteen playing in the background.
However my stupid, stupid friend does not want to do this.
Stupid Friend: I don’t know, what would I do all day?
CB: What you do now! But with breaks to go get ice cream, or go to the gym, or just take a walk…
Stupid Friend: Yeah, I don’t know..I don’t really like any of those things. I don't really like leaving the couch...I think I would wind up sitting in my apartment watching soaps and ordering too much Chinese food.
CB: But the money!
Stupid Friend: Yeah, I don’t know...I would miss the people.
CB: But you would still see them at least twice a week! Just go out for happy hour with them more often and get really drunk! Oh. My. God. I just realized—do you know how much extra sleep you could get if you didn’t have to commute anywhere?! And if you were hungover you could work from bed. And you wouldn’t have to put on all that makeup to look presentable and wonder if you smell weird—
Stupid Friend: Yeah, I’m not doing it.
I want her job. I would take proper advantage of this.
27 comments:
fuck, i think i might cry with jealousy.
my job drains my soul and my boss is a totally uncool douchebag.
*sigh*
i too would take proper and frankly in appropriate advantage of said situation.
its like being a stay at home mom, with no fucking kids.
OMG! That would totally ROCK! And, one thing you forgot, she'd most likely need to get the internet so she could check "work" e-mail and what-not, so hello! Get the CABLE internet which means free CABLE AND INTERNET!!!!!! Please, smack your stupid friend for me, a internet cable-less person.
Clearly this girl is ridiculous! A pay increase and the opportunity to get up whenever she wants?! Where do I sign up? You are right CB she is not willing to use this to its fully potential (which are so numerous I can hardly express them all so wont try!)
your friend is obviously insane and should have her head examined. the days i get to work from home are so bloody amazing, i can't even begin to tell you. i watch 'when harry met sally' and friends re-runs, wear sweatpants all day, and nap frequently. furthermore, i get more work done because idiots aren't stopping my desk every five minutes to chat about the latest memo. tell your friend to seek help.
Stupid, stupid friend. I quit my old job working 80 hours a week for an unimpressive salary (given the hours) and started contracting myself out to the same company on an hourly basis. 70% of the time I work from home. I could work a 6 month year of 40 hour weeks and make more than I was making working full-time, often with 80 hour weeks. Working from home is bliss. No make-up, no pajamas, naps, gym-breaks...tell your friend she is ridiculous.
Who does your headcase friend work for? Are they hiring?
When I worked from home, I never missed my co-workers and doubt they missed me. And my afternoon coffee breaks became afternoon booze breaks.
Good times.
FYI, CB: Grant Miller Media is hiring.
CB, the tax thing is a home office deduction from the % of your apt that is set aside for a home office. It's then a business expense that is not reimbursed by the company, which you can deduct on your 1040 (zzzzzz, I know. . . )
JR
And to think of all the time my old coworkers and I wasted trying to convince management that working from home would save money and time and make us more productive. We were obviously working for the wrong company.
Holy crap! That's one step lower than winning the lottery!
Bet she'd still work if she won the lottery...crazy girl.
How extremely close to her coworkers is your incredibly stupid friend, because, come on, ditching the posibility of working in my pajamas!!!! from my living room or bedroom!!!?, without a douche tracking how many times I go to the bathroom??
and with moree money!!! dang she's really stupid and I'm really sad... I def wouldn't think twice...
It's a must. I worked from home for over 5 years and miss it sorely. She has the best of both worlds because working from 100% of the time can be a bit lonely without the interaction, but one of the huge benefits was you get your house chores done like laundry so you actually can have evenings and weekends free. I truly beleive the only way to have a real life anymore is working from home at least ONE day a week.
Stupid friend indeed, I think you should shake her or some thing.
Your friend is a retard.
Wouldn't, then, the coveted dream of sex in the office become reality?
Fucking on the living room couch across from the laptop and the printer.
Clearly, she's crazy. However, if she does take advantage of this opportunity, tell her to be careful with the home-office tax credit; it's the #1 red-flag the IRS uses to determine who to audit. Plus it only benefits people who make quite a bit of money in the first place.
maybe you should apply for a job there....maybe for her position. What an idiot.
Why can't my company decide to do this...
I swear some people have all the luck... and most of the time they don't act on the good fortune they've been given...
what a shame
So, what's the deal? Is your life just so flippin great right now that you've got nothing to write about? Or has it become so awful that you can't bring yourself to blog?
Seriously. You used to blog all the time. This is bullshit.
I'm trying to think of a nice way to say *moron*
anon--too many people know about my blog and i feel like there are few safe subjects. i don't like it either.
wait...except i posted 4 times last week. submissive tone retracted. that's plenty.
(although too many people still know about my blog).
can you steal her identity?
CB, come on! We own your ass. We've been loyal readers for at least a month or two, and you think you can just up and las-say-fair it all of a sudden? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, g'friend?
(Seriously, people's sense of proprietary ownership of other people never fails to shock and amuse me. And if you think this is something, just wait until you're married. With a kid [snerk[)
your friend. she is different.
I guess my dad was right all those years: "Life ain't fair, kid. Get used to it."
These things never happen to me.
That's like a lottery winner who donates the whole friggin' mess.
I would kill for such an opportunity... Luckily, I've just quit my job and am currently hoping for better times.
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