Monday

Meeting The Wife

Oh dear Lord. The Wife was unbearably awesome. She actually made fun of me for not drinking enough. Meanwhile, my alleged friend sat there, mostly immobile, picking at his bok choy throughout dinner.

Midway through the meal, when The Wife went to the bathroom, I announced “I really like her.” Re-boyfriend and S. vigorously nodded in agreement while my friend sort of laughed at the table. This is when I realized I was angry at him.

My alleged friend had been hiding from me for two years and the dinner was making it very difficult to pretend everything had been The Wife’s fault. Maybe insecure, controlling wives drink martinis and tell you about the time they passed out in front of their mother-in-law’s house but it seemed unlikely. So I leaned over to my alleged friend and whispered in my best I-really-mean-it voice, “I like her more than you.” Then I avoided him for the rest of the night which was difficult, since I was sitting next to him, but somehow possible.

Hopefully I hurt his feelings but I am guessing he thought I was joking.

23 comments:

The Smarter Princess said...

Oh my goodness. Secretly your best friend has a crush on you and he can't bear to be near you. Especially now that he is married because what if his wife found out? So instead he tried to be mean so that neither of you could see his true feelings. I am a genious for figuring this out.

vicdamonejr said...

the smarter princess has this one figured out perfectly. The only reason he dipped out on you is because he was really feeling you. No man, and I mean no man, plays the platonic friendship game truly as such with an attractive woman. He's always looking for a way in. So if you're even moderately attractive he was waiting his turn, and then found a good woman, and dip on your "platonic" frienship.

Nanook said...

Wow... what a turn of events. I agree with the Smarter Princess completely. I thought we were the ones that were supposed to make those guy/girl platonic friendships all complicated?!?

the frog princess said...

I'm sorry, but am I allowed to say "I told you so" because I knew she'd be awesome?

Don't know about all of the "he's in love with you" stuff above though. But it will be interesting to see how it all plays out.

I think you should go out for drinks with the wife without him. That'll show you weren't joking! :)

emertron said...

See my last comment. Straight man + attractive straight woman=problems.

Ask a Manager said...

Here's what I think. Maybe he did indeed have a thing for you or maybe he didn't. But this sounds an awful like that horrible girl behavior, where a girl gets a boyfriend and suddenly goes totally AWOL on her friends, making everyone left behind feel like she was just biding time with them until the guy materialized. We never really accuse guys of doing this, but it sure sounds like it here.

AERNYC said...

So I have secretly loved your blog from afar and I had to come out of the woodwork...

I agree with what ask a manager said, but it also could be the whole "he had a crush on you" thing. I hope he feels horrible about what hes done! I give you credit for actually saying that, I don't think i would have had the courage! (But would have secretly wished I said it after the fact)

Anonymous said...

he may have a crush on you, or maybe he fell in love with a girl who is exactly like you and felt weird about introducing you to her, for fear that you'd think he was in love with you?

You know how weird high school dynamics still exist with high school friends, even YEARS after it's over? yeah, i think that's what is playing out here. He felt self-conscious about introducing you to her.

Stephanie said...

I was very jealous of you with your wellies this morning. New York + rain + flip flops = GROSS.

Anonymous said...

So I'm late to the game, but I agree with the "crush on you" scenario. I had a very good, very close male friend through high school and college. He was fine when I was dating, he was fine when he was dating. Then he met this girl he got engaged to, and he completely turned on me. While engaged to her, he totally tried to sabotage my relationship with my then serious boyfriend. After not hearing from him for two years, out of the blue he contacts me. Yup, he and the fiance broke up. I never thought he had a crush on me, but it is telling that EVERY man I tell that story to tells me he had a crush on me, while almost every woman is just as mystified as I was. I'm sorry, but I thought when you got engaged to a person it was because you were committed to them, and not because you secretly wanted to be with someone else. Silly me.

Anonymous said...

when my best friend did this to me it was so that he could re-invent himself as a right-on vegan and impress his new woman. He spent the intervening time making out that I was a consumerist, decadent fashion-victim wnereas he was greenie of the century. When his new friends eventually got to meet me- they told me because I wasn't like that at all! In fact, I had been almost 100% vegetarian for years and years whereas he always bought only the cheapest battery-farmed mechanically recovered meat products.
So don't count on the 'he's in love' thing- could be he dosn't want you showing him up... by telling her what he's REALLY like.

Anonymous said...

Or maybe it's not about you at all.

Anonymous said...

YOu TOTALLY stole this blog from someone else. I've read this entire thing before. Geez have some decorum

Anonymous said...

hey anonymous--i'm interested as to where you've read this before. not sure if you know, but this whole blog hasn't been updated in about a year...i'm guessing someone is stealing from CB!

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